Thankful

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
-- Melody Beattie

I love this quote. It's beautifully true and full of hope. There is a serenity and warmth about it, and makes my soul smile.

Over the past couple months I have felt more thankful than ever. Which, by the way, is difficult to imagine, as I consider myself fairly aware of just how lucky and truly blessed my life is. (I also think I am pretty good at vocalizing that gratitude to the people in my life too; A trait I am quite happy to brag about.)

There are so many particular instances and so many larger things, it's a mosaic of appreciation. From cooking a successful Thanksgiving dinner with my husband and catching up with my girlfriend over a long phone call, to spending time with my new family and being able to laugh freely. I don't think a day goes by that I don't feel it or think it. It comes from the wildest of places too - that bright blue San Franciscan sky, the smiling homeless man in front of the Walgreens down the street, the sound of someone singing in the shower, a friend telling a joke, the free samples of cheese and chocolate from the shop around the corner, my mother's long-winded stories, the smell of the eucalyptus wreath in our house, warm gloves... just to name a few.

Just wanted to say "thanks".

FALLing for you

There's something about holiday coffee drinks that make me grin. The whole experience of the holiday coffee drink is overwhelmingly wonderful. From walking into the coffee shop, only to be greeted by shiny do-dads, whizzles, and snowflakes, you are transported to a scene out of a Christmas movie. It's the best of cliches, and I will drink it up! Holiday tunes playing in the background, employees with their festive flair, and the food cases decked out with sugar cookies and gingerbread. (They are always dancing in my head too.)

It's not like coffee drinks were part of my childhood fall and winter experience, yet, the flavors are nostalgic and make me feel like I'm home. Maybe it's being in California and seeing palm trees in November that make me wonder if winter is almost here... but, I really miss the Colorado snow that signifies holiday time to me. So, the hints of eggnog, gingersnap, peppermint and nutmeg greet me with warm, comforting arms of milk and spices. Yes, I drink in the festive goodness and sink into my over-sized knit sweater.

Thank you Starbucks, Peet's, Tully's, and It's a Grind for making it feel a lot like Christmas.

Hungry for more

I had a chance to sit down and have coffee with a lovely and inspiring woman this afternoon. She is a well-known foodie, writer, and blogger and she was so generous to share her stories with me.

I have always had an adventurous palate and enjoyed food more than the average person. This interest has turned into a slight obsession living in San Francisco and I desperately and hungrily want to find a career outlet for this thing that I so enjoy. So, I reached out and scored a glorious 50 minutes with a connected self-starter culinarian. (I think that should be a word, so I'm leaving it.)

Being the admirer that I am, I poked around to find out where she had been and how she got to be this approachable culinary superstar. She spoke with such gusto and passion about what she does, it made me jealous. I so want to have that. That unrelentless knowledge and passion and stronghold of character and career.

It makes me really wonder how many people have that. I don't think many. It's unfortunate to know that so many dreams are tucked away like a winter sweater in Florida. Rarely brought out to see the light of day...

Well, apparently the industry, particularly here, is inundated. It's tough, so I gotta get my foodie gloves on (I think they call them oven mits) and get ready for a fight. I feel lucky to have love for something that is intrinsic to life, particularly in SF. If nothing else, I know that my love for food will always be entertained here.

My favorite spot in the city

There is a community garden at Fort Mason. It is fenced in and behind the buildings, so I think a lot of people miss it or think that it's private property. But, I have a secret... it's not. I figure I can make this announcement since I only have a few friends reading my blog and I trust you all to love and respect this place and not tell too many people. I like the fact that there is a solumn peacefulness to it.

This place is magic. It must be. The colors, the blooms of the flowers, the smells, the life - it's amazing. Every little plot is unique and bursting with different flowers, plants, and vegetables. I like to get lost amongst it all, a maze of garden jungle.

The reason I like this place so much is becasue it completely enthralls me. I am there fully. Smelling, feeling, exploring and in full consciousness of adoring each and every garden plot.

I like this place best early in the mornings when the fog is still cradling the bay. I can walk around the garden and be the only one there. And there is something about smelling a flower on its vine in a garden at dawn that is so pure and untainted by the rest of the day.

I also ;ove coming here with my husband. It turns us into to kids, pointing to the plants and flowers that capture our imagination.

Yes, this is my favorite spot in the city.

Here dahrling, don't you ever forget it!

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. - Sophia Loren

Rain

I like the rain. The pureness, the power, the way it cleans and washes away the old and dusty.

It's form; too many drops to count, but each one transforming the object it touches. Giving it a deeper, richer color, and a new character.

It was time for it to rain. The plants needed it. And so did the people of San Francisco. They needed to bathe and wash their chilly, dirty streets.

Rain has a way of comforting the soul. It slips people a reason to daydream and come up with a thousand other things they would rather be doing than going to work in the rain.

A perfect day to curl up and watch a movie with your love. Maybe even bake some cookies, play a game, read a book, or catch up on that Blog you meant to write last week.

On a Tuesday though... oh rain. Come again another day when we can stay in and play.

Still, it was nice to see you stick around all day. You weathered us well and gave us plenty to drink and enough to wash our hands and streets.

I see it as a promise

I wanted to title this blog blurp "shame". It's not a very nice word, that's for sure. It has an onomatopoeia quality to it that evokes fear, sadness, and disappointment. No, I don't like shame.

I was going to name this post "shame on me".... Because I had wanted to keep this blog thing going. Give it a real solid shot by writing regularly. Oh, how easy it is to put things off, especially when I was planning the wedding and trying to do a hundred other things. Too many excuses, and an exhausting list of ideas to write about. So, I wrote nothing at all. It makes complete sense.

Instead of the shameful word of shame, I have decided to look at this as a promise. It's a very Buddhist approach, but one that feels more inviting. I may even want to stay a while. I would like to write often. So, this is a promise, a working promise to write more and capture the things in my life that I try so hard to savor.

I have been incorporating meditation into my life again recently. And it makes me feel grounded and aware. I miss it, and miss the things that I was able to see, do, and feel when I had the practice of sitting in my life. It's amazingly powerful what a little sitting can do for one's soul.

Here's to working promises, writing, sitting, and loving.

"Pleasure is the only thing to live for. Nothing ages like happiness."
-Oscar Wilde

I made a decision about taking on too many jobs. (Which I did last week, and updated my blog to reflect this, post-decisions. Don't want to drop undue names.) I have to work and move and look forward. Not backward. Regardless if I am not working full time right now, to settle on a job that won't bring me pleasure or at least provide a stepping stone towards my passions, is futile.

My fiance is the strongest and most grounding force in my life. Good for everything from pleasure to gut checks. He gut-checked me, gently of course. It opened my eyes a little, made me think, and I went with my feelings. No regrets.

It's a beautiful thing to have someone know your soul and show you the light when things get dark.

I'm not a fan of cliches, but...

When it rains, it pours! And when it comes to luck, money, ice cream, kittens, and jobs, you better believe that it's pouring goodness.

I better knock on wood, cross my fingers, rub a rabbits foot and say my prayers, but for the first time in 5 months, I have work to do...legitimate work!
Sorry, my domestic diva days with no children to tend to are hopefully done with. (Not that I disliked the things such as collecting unemployment, painting, learning Italian, meeting friends for lunch, or the constant anxiety about not having a job brought me; But man, I'd rather be working.)

The sun is out, the recession is simmering down (Enshallah), and I have myself lined up till the wedding! With a food writing gig (my ultimate dream job), brainless office work, and all the other things (Italian lessons, graphic design, wedding planning), I have booked my time solid I'd say.

I'm hoping that it goes as smoothly as that - but with life, you never know when you'll have to pull out the pooper-scooper and dig yourself out of a stinky situation. (Don't worry, I have gloves.)Let's hope for the best and make time to keep up with the Italian.

Salute!

Weekend Wonderland

A good weekend is probably one of the best things in the world. Really. It's 48+ hours of goodness and untainted time. A hard week of work and stress is always met with an untamed excitement that screams "hallelujah!" at the top of it's lungs when 4:15 rolls around. Even with errands to run during these precious 2 days, getting them done and crossing to-dos off a list is cathartic in a way. You even feel like you earn a gold star for "successful operation completed" when things are taken care of and lifted off the troubled, anxiety-ridden work brain.

Indeed, my work brain is on these days (anxiety overloaded), even though I am still an unemployed lady (the cause of the anxiety). It truly is amazing what all a person, who is deficient in employment status, can keep busy with. Nonetheless, I still savor the weekend, the tasks that need to be taken care of, and it's pure moments of laziness. I savor them not just for myself and the things that have bogged me down during the week, but for my time with John.

I love it when I see him on a Friday after work. He usually looks a bit tuckered and is on low energy from the long hours of work and the marathon commute that steals a good 20 hours from him in a week. His hair is tussled, a little greasy, and he smells so good I can't help but nuzzle my nose into his neck to inhale the fading cologne against his body. I'm instantly happy and content with whatever the weekend throws at us.

This weekend was one of my favorite kinds of weekends - an insanely busy week and only a couple things to do over the 2 days of bliss. We met John's Dad for dinner at Range, a new restaurant for John and I, over in the Mission. It was a great meal (see Yelp review if you like) and wonderful to just catch up and chat for a few hours. We were both pooped and fell asleep before 10.... not something that is really cool to admit to unless you're 11 or 85, but I've been told I have an old soul...

The weather was a cloudy treat of overcast coolness and perfect for getting in a game of tennis and a good run in. We decided to go wedding ring shopping Saturday and walked all around Union Street. The first place we went into was an antiques place, and we couldn't help but adore the older man behind the counter in his Mr. Rogers sweater sharing tales of old San Francisco and some of the haunting drama-filled jewlery finds. (Gotta love a town with roots in gold mining and brothels - it makes the jewelry that much cooler.)

It was a great weekend for seeing friends and laughing too. Amanda and Juan had Kim, JB and I over for hookah and dinner. It was one of the nicest, most chill evenings I have had with people in a long time. Those girls feel like family out here - and it's comforting to have a place and people like that around. It had been a long time since I have tried the hooka, and I think I want one....

I also got to see an old friend, Rachel. She's an incredible artist out here in SF and someone I aspire to be like, inspired by, and totally and completely jealous of. It was so fun to go and see her place and paintings with Kim. I really appreciate people like her and what she is doing in life - painting and creating things that make people smile with their uniqueness and beauty. She tells a story and has an incredible energy about her that is contagious. Picked up some ideas and inspo from the afternoon visit and will be painting this week for sure.

Welcome

I'm sure all the bloggers out there had this feeling of starting something great when they wrote these first sentences. Starting your own blog. It's a little scary, a little intimidating, and yet, very exciting to see where this world of capturing thoughts and experiences can go.

After reading my friend Mary's blog, I was inspired. Her blog was gracious and beautiful and captured everything from her day-to-day little things to her aspirations and prayers. She wasn't making a statement or proclaiming anything, she just found a place to journal about her life, the things she loves and can share it with the world. Beautiful.

For me, my blog will be completely ego-centric as well...besides, what fun would a blog be without being at the epicenter of it's creation and purpose? It will be a place where I can share my ideas, my passions, and all the little intricacies that float around in my head that never seem to find the time to get down on paper. I used to be an avid journaler - (I like making up words when the English language and grammar fail me), but only journaled when I was in a foreign country. Well, now seems like a good time to do this thing that is on "my list of things I would like to do".

So, cheers. Here's to writing. Here's to reading. Happy sharing.

xo,
Erin